My Man

How do you make it all work?

Published on July 14, 2004 By Doa Ana In Marital Issues

So after sleeping on the couch last night - I can't sleep in the bed with him when he's giving me the cold shoulder - I sent him an email at work. And I asked him to please reply. And he did.

So I'm reading his message with tears running down my face not b/c of what he's saying, but simply that he's saying something. (We met on-line, perhaps we should still do some of our communicating that way.)

I don't really have much else to say. I feel glad that he responded, but I feel sad that I have to write him an email and ask him to reply in order to have him tell me just a smidgen of what's going on inside his head.

And I love him - dearly.

Comments

CS Guy

on Jul 14, 2004

I have always thought that communication and honesty in that communication are the most important things in a relationship. I would be a little disturbed if the only way I could communicate with my spouse was through e-mail.

But then, considering my track record in relationships I probably have no idea what I'm talking about.

Poetmom99

on Jul 14, 2004

Oh wow....if my husband and I couldn't talk about everything and anything, I don't know that I could stand it. Honest, open communication between us was one of the first things that made me sure he was The One. I hope it gets better for you guys...have you tried explaining to him how important it is to you?

Gideon MacLeish

on Jul 14, 2004

During the first couple years of my wife's and my marriage, she was not very capable of talking about problems in our marriage. This stemmed from the fact that, when she was growing up, her stepmother would often be controlling and abusive when my wife did choose to speak. I mentioned to her that, if she couldn't speak, perhaps she could write down her thoughts. This helped my wife immensely, and she was able to articulate her feelings without fear of being interrupted or put down because of them, and it also created some wonderful lifelong gems out of the notes she wrote.

Email may not be your preferred way of communicating, but be thankful he IS communicating. As long as that happens, every relationship is fixable.

Doa Ana

on Jul 18, 2004

Thank you for the encouragement. I have been reading many of your articles. Thank you for taking the time to respond to mine.
Take care.

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